c l a r i t y

I've done a lot of learning in recent months - the kind of learning that can only come from the hardships combined with the rapturous moments that life brings. A metamorphosis is taking place deep inside my soul, in a place even I can't seem to locate. Sure, I'm still the same girl in that I fight with my hubby about random frivolous issues sometimes, I still hate being told what I need to do, and I still get disappointed when I don't get what I want- but it's as though I've had an electric jolt of serenity, or contentment, or happiness surge through my soul like a lightning bolt...the crazy part is that it hasn't worn off. It's like a current that comes in daily doses, something I've needed for years - years in which I thought I could never possibly find the kind of happiness that was self-sustaining. But it's here, I found it in the rainy gloom infamously known as the Northwest it seems. And as if to prevent it from suddenly detaching itself and floating away, I've decided to write about some things I've realized. You may have heard these things before and know what they are, but do you TRULY know, or just comprehend their possibility in a generalized sense? * First, your life should never have to happen as if a play is being acted out before your eyes. You don't truly live until you feel as though your soul is somehow connected to every person you come into contact with, and you feel their humanity through every word and every interactive form of communication you have. People MAKE life. * You know you are truly in love when you're sitting alone in your car, maybe you've got the radio playing...and their face pops into your head, and you just BEAM from ear to ear, and you can let your head fall back and just laugh...laugh like a child, basking in the moment for as long as it takes for you to think to yourself, "Life is so incredibly beautiful, I don't want to waste another second of it." * Your life is only worth as much as you do with it. Are you one of those people who has a hard time accepting compliments? Before you shun a kind word offered on your behalf, evaluate to yourself how much you would trust the person giving it with your life. If you don't believe the compliment to be true, but you know the person complimenting you would be truly worthy of taking your life in their hands, it's time that you do some serious thinking about why you don't believe what they're saying. They care about you...they would know how wonderful you are. And you should believe them, not just accept what they tell you out of courtesy. * Ultimately, life is about you. You were not put on this earth for any other purpose than your happiness and your success at whatever you choose to do. Not that those things won't involve certain amounts of their opposites along the way, but it's the destination that really counts. If you don't believe in yourself enough to pursue the people who really put you on top of the world, thinking you don't deserve them, then it's time to take a step back and push to earn their love, their trust, their praises. Because it's the people you look at as amazing, incredible, beautiful, that you should ultimately strive to have fellowship with. And if you choose to keep them at the wayside in favor of those whose lives are on an easier-to-reach level just for the sake of laziness or fear, then you are, in actuality, much lower on the scale than you thought yourself to be. PUSH yourself to become worthy of those whom you put on a pedestal, and you will BECOME worthy of being on that pedestal with them. Anything less is unacceptable. The justification here is that those who belong on those lower pedestals are the ones who could not fathom the idea of progressive states of spiritual enlightenment and destiny. Their lives are mediocre and they have no problem with that. Reaching that top rung on the beautiful ladder of life will always be so hard to accomplish, and yet, there is no sweeter taste in life than that of success in something you KNEW would make you eternally happy and satisfied. And once you know this how could you possibly settle for anything less? Find that person who makes your soul soar, and strive all your life to be worthy of their love. If there is one thing I would EVER exalt you to do, it would be this. * Know your divine origin and destiny. Never doubt your unique heritage, and your privileged status in this world. Seek to be worthy of what you have and you will, in turn, receive even more than you could ever imagine. Faith in the goodness of the world, of people, of nature, of God, that is what gets you through untouched by evil and darkness. In the end, I think most of us would much rather be bathed in light than cloaked in darkness. * Please, always remember, that those whose affections you seek in the most honorable ways, will always see you for what's inside. And if what they see is ugly, a person filled with unhappiness, they'll most likely move on. So if you're like me, and you want to surround yourself with people that are noble and beautiful and good, then BE noble and beautiful and good. Don't ever let those who don't understand their purpose in life make you forget yours.